Wednesday, September 15, 2010


Yesterday a work friend of my husbands lost his wife to a brain tumor.  They didn't know she had it.  They should both be at home celebrating the birth of their third child, a little girl just two weeks ago.

I am SAD.  I am ANGRY. 
I do not understand why bad things happen to good people.

I am only part way through knitting a baby gift and now I don't know if it is appropriate to give a gift.  What do you write on the card? 

Why can't I stop crying?


  1. So sad. She'll never know her mama.

    A friend called me today sobbing. A friend of hers was killed yesterday when someone on a cell phone crashed into her as she was pumping gas. PUMPING GAS! There one minute. Gone the next. She leaves behind two little girls under the age of four. So, so sad.

  2. oh my goodness! I have no idea what to say.
    I have been crying for the last year not knowing why these things happen to people. yesterday my mum told me that a friend of hers that was at my dad's funeral last year has cancer.
    I have no idea what to say, we saw him a year ago.
    cry as much as you can, i do, if I hold it in who knows what will happen.
    I wish her family strength, that's all that I feel anyone can say.
    hugs to you, if you need to write things out, write them. I'm here if you need an ear.

  3. Oh my! That is awful, truly truly awful.
    Proceed as planned with gift - and on the card to the child write all the memories you can of her mother and your feelings about her great loss.

  4. How awful for that little family. For the baby who'll never know her mum and for the other two kids who I assume are also young and will also probably only remember her from photos.

    That baby still needs her gifts. Especially ones that are handmade with love. I did some sad craft last year - a scrapbook for a stillborn boy and a scrapbook for a 3 year old killed in a car crash. I also made a baby quilt for a friends baby girl who's outcome was touch and go for her whole pregnancy. I found the process of working on these things for these people was very theraputic for me (and you're allowed to be selfish about that sometimes) and also produced something beautiful and appreciated for the recipient.

    Thinking of you at this sad, sad time.

  5. Oh, no... That's so incredibly terrible.

    Things like this aren't fair and don't make sense. So be sad. Be angry. Cry. Grieve. And create if that's something that heals your soul.

    And finish the baby gift. It will mean so much to the family to know that they're in your thoughts.


  6. I'm so sorry for your sad news. Loss is is not natural otherwise we would know how to cope with it. I agree with the other girls that making the present and giving it will help both you and the family. My son has a blanket I started crocheting with my first pregnancy which unfortunately ended in a miscarriage. After I had started I needed to to finish it and I do not feel hurt when I see it. Receiving presents may also help the family to realise that life must go on for them and give them something to hold onto. Cherrie

  7. How devestating for your friend. It brings tears to my eyes to think of him and his poor little family. Sending them lots of love and strength at this terribly tragic time xoxo

  8. So very sad - I really do understand the grief and anger you feel as I lost my brother 5 weeks ago - and quilted for therapy ... Please send the gift - sometimes wordless comfort is the best comfort ...

  9. Such a shock for you all. I imagine it all still feels very surreal and raw. So you may not be ready for these comments but perhaps you can look back on them in a few weeks and reread them then. Life can be so ruthless. Keep crying whenever you feel the need.

    Be the best support you can for the father and family, this can often help heal you too.

    Sally made some comments which I wholeheartedly agree with. Continue with the gift and write down lots of happy memories so that the child will have something whey they get older.

  10. Oh Honey - hugs.

    Give the gift - as sad as it is - it will be appreciated and they will know that it comes from the heart.

    These thigs are not meant to happen - we have two friends going through Cancer at the moment - it is just not fair.

  11. Oh Becky that's so sad, I'm so so sorry.
    I lost a childhood friend to a brain tumour in April, he was 41, with three small children and was diagnosed in September.
    Death is never easy but in some circumstances it's just indescribable.
    I think some handmade love for the new baby would still be very welcomed.

  12. sending you air tissues and the family my warmest thoughts. gather around them and give the gift, it will be a little piece of happy during such a difficult time.

  13. Oh Dear... :(

    I have no idea what to say either...

    Life really does suck sometimes and also has me questioning... WHY????

    Big Hugs - Jodie xx


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